


Head over heels and six feet under

by Ammarettu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-09-24 21:04:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9786983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ammarettu/pseuds/Ammarettu
Summary: In which Phichit is head over heels in love with Yuuri.





	1. It's easiest to drown.

**Author's Note:**

> Eyyyy so this is for some friends on the tumbl please enjoy.

There had always been a certain dynamic to their relationship. Through the days, weeks, months of training Phichit had known that they had grown close, but still Yuuri felt so distant. Cut off and held at arms length. They would laugh together, but Yuuri's laugh didn't seem real. They would eat together but Yuuri could never actually consume the food. Their dynamic was close, but never close enough.

That dynamic took to a sharp turn, screeching to a halt and throwing Phichit's confidence to the wind on a golden autumn night as the moonlight trickled in softly after the snowfall of the day. What was once an uncertain, shaky closeness evolved into an intimate and extreme bond over the course of one night and while that made the young Thai man exponentially happy, he also had no idea what to do in the few hours that followed his revelations.

That night he had woken up at around 2 am, a feeling that something was wrong heavy on his chest, piercing into his soul and wrapping around his wrists like shackles. He'd gone into the main room to get a glass of water in the hopes that it might quell his raging nerves and shuddering heart but he stopped before reaching the kitchen. 

Faintly, oh so Faintly, he could hear small shuddering gasps coming from Yuuri's room, reaching out from the small crack under his door and beckoning Phichit closer. He cracked the door open to make sure he was okay, normally he wouldn't for fear that he would interrupt something but these gasps were different. The pained gasps that usually accompanied a heavy crying he'd only seen in movies. Much to his dismay Phichit found Yuuri huddled up in the top right corner of his bed, blue and white striped duvet pulled up and over her head. The window was open, letting the frozen air of the winter night whip around him and soak into his bones. The sounds of Yuuri's desperate sobs broke into his conscious mind and shattered his heart, the absolute terror he heard in the cries pushed him to open the door and take the few quick strides to Yuuri's bedside, frantic. 

"Yuuri? Yuuri, I'm sorry I didn't knock. Are you okay?" 

There was a sharp intake of breath and the covers were drawn tighter around the young Japanese man. 

"Go away." Was gasped out and Phichit knelt on the bed.

"Yuuri please. I'm worried." 

"No. no, no, no, no-"

Phichit shifted forwards and sat down next to his friend, placed a hand on the quivering blankets in a hope that it would be his shoulder and began to slowly rub the smallest circles with the palms of his hands. Yuuri nearly shrieked and began to sob harder. 

"Phichit please. Please I don't want you to see me like this."

He felt a smile grace his lips and the awful feeling leave his stomach, he could help. He didn't know how, but he knew he could. If there was something that he'd always been good at it was making people feel better. 

"It's okay Yuuri. I'm here for you, I want to help and you're not bothering me with anything at all. I promise. Come on, come out."

The covers shifted slowly until Phichit could see Yuuri's tear stained face, just a little paler than usual, eyes and ears bright red. His lips were quivering and it made Phichit's heart break just a little more.

"Do you want to tell me whats wrong?"

Yuuri shook his head. 

Phichit opened his arms then, nodded in understanding.

Yuuri was entangled in his arms before he could blink, sobbing and nearly crushing his ribs. Phichit sat back against the headboard and began to stroke Yuuri's hair, softly, sweetly, Gently he caressed his hair and lulled him slowly into a state of silent tears instead of what had once been painful sobs and he smiled ever so slightly. He could feel just how wet his sleeping shirt was but couldn't really bring himself to care in the circumstances. Yuuri's shuddering breaths against his shoulder made him shiver. His breath was hot in the cold room, it felt so nice.

Slowly he felt Yuuri begin to relax against him, and his breaths even out. There was silence for a long time and Phichit began to wonder if maybe Yuuri had fallen asleep. He wouldn't really be surprised, the exhaustion that was sure to follow crying like that would have forced his eyes closed by now. But softly he heard Yuuri call his name.

"Phichit?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

Yuuri pulled back a little, their faces about a foot apart but Yuuri remained curled up on his lap. 

"Do you want to talk to me about it now?" 

And he saw Yuuri glance at the clock, he did as well. Had it really been an hour already? There was a pause while Phichit assumed Yuuri was contemplating. He was expecting a soft, I'm homesick or, I'm nervous about the competition next month. But instead the words that came out of Yuuri's mouth made Phichit's gut wrench and his heart shatter.

"I hate myself."

The force of the words were strangely akin to what Phichit assumed being hit by a train would feel like and his vision swirled.

"Yuuri..."

And Yuuri looked ashamed to even admit it out loud. 

"But why?"

The tears returned to the corners of his eyes and he hugged himself around the stomach. 

"I just... I'm not... I don't mean anything. I'm overweight and I'm a bad skater, I have no skills. I can't even make friends properly. I don't know why you even bother."

And Phichit laughed, Yuuri looked horrified but Phichit laughed. 

"Yuuri I try because you're interesting! You're kind and you cook amazing food. You're amazing great skater and who cared if you have 5 extra pounds? I think it's cute!"

A scarlet red burst across Yuuri's face, his brilliant brown eyes widened and sparkled with shocked tears and he tackled Phichit into a new hug.

The familiarity of the touch was weird, it felt so right to have Yuuri in his arms like this. To have this young man in his lap, smiling wider than the oceans. The once closed off dynamic of their relationship twisted into a gorgeous sprouting flower and in that moment Phichit knew with an absolute certainty that he was in love.


	2. Linger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get this up lmao Ive been super busy procrastinating whoop

A few weeks later the two friends lay spread out on the couch in their shared apartment, their legs overlapping near the center. Phichit was snapping selfies and typing away furiously and Yuuri was quietly watching old skating videos on YouTube. And the occasional cat video of course.

It was 1 in the afternoon and neither of them had moved since sitting down 3 hours earlier. Phichit was a little surprised after the three hours of silence to suddenly hear Yuuri's voice. He groaned and threw his head back dramatically, causing Phichit to perk up and look over to him, concerned. There was a pause and just before Phichit started talking Yuuri spoke up. "Phichit."

"Yeah?"

"I'm gay."

another pause. 

"Wait what?" Phichit looked over the top of his phone at Yuuri who was a bright red.

"You didn't know?"

"Of course I know dude, I've seen your Nikiforov poster collection I just wasn't expecting you to announce it to me."

Yuuri covered his face with his phone and Phichit felt his heart flutter and an easy smile grace his lips.

"No worries, hey I got invited to a party tonight, you should come! She said I could invite some friends."

Yuuri pulled the phone away from his face so Phichit could see the look of disapproval.

"Aw, come on Yuuri! It'll be fun, pleeease?"

Yuuri heaved a sigh but agreed anyways on the condition that Phichit didn't leave his side, to which Phichit agreed to, that was the plan anyways after all.

The evening couldn't come fast enough for Phichit. The day seemed to drag on hours longer than it should have, his eyes glanced at the white numbers at the top of his phone screen every few seconds. When the clock finally his 6 o'clock Phichit's heart clenched and he felt like he was shaking, even though he wasn't. He stood and stretched, cueing Yuuri to stand as well.

They made their way out of the apartment and down the elevator down to a club about a block away. Yuuri didn't question the location, Phichit greeted a girl as they entered, he friend he assumed. The club was decked out in bright multi-coloured flashing lights that hurt Yuuri's eyes a little but he ignored them in favor of following Phichit to the counter. Phichit held up to fingers and yelled something Yuuri couldn't hear over the pounding music. A moment later they were handed rather large bright blue drinks that Yuuri wasn't really sure if it was actually safe to drink or not but he trusted Phichit.

After that drink was gone Phichit could tell that Yuuri was already gone. He was off at the far side of the room flirting with some kind of tree so Phichit downed the rest of his second drink and joined him. "Yuuri, YUURI."

Yuuri giggled and turned around to face him and Phichit laughed, "Lets go, yeah?"

Yuuri gasped and grabbed Phichits arm, "NooO, let's,,, let's stay. Dance with me!"

Phichit doesn't remember much of that night when he wakes up the next morning. He remembers the way Yuuri pressed against him on the crowded dance floor, how hot his breath was in the limited space of the club, the way his hands slid up his sides. He flips onto his side and finds Yuuri still fast asleep, and he remembers kissing someone against the metal wall of the club. Not unlike him, he was one to let loose and go for it but it was unusual for him to leave Yuuri even for a few minutes. He rubbed his temples and tries his hardest to focus and remember. He remembers soft hair between his fingers and being pushed against the metal, that was unusual. He remembers the distinct feel of plastic against his face but not much else. His eyes trail to the bedside table where Yuuri's glasses are sat, a bright blue plastic that Phichit thought seemed vaguely familiar.

He shrugs and gets up, careful not to wake his sleeping room mate. He goes to the kitchen and makes a cup of coffee and takes slow sips. the second the third sip touches his tongue the night floods back to him in a rush that makes him drop the mug, shattering the porcelain in the floor. The blue of the glasses, the bright brown eyes that shone in the dark of the club amidst the flashing lights and smell of alcohol. A beautiful milk coffee brown he knew all too well. Yuuri. He'd kissed Yuuri of all people. How was he going to handle this when Yuuri woke up ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully yall enjoyed that! I promise theres more coming soon, comment if you can they fuel me <3

**Author's Note:**

> Eyyyy it's done next chapter will be up soon ok bye
> 
> leave me a comment or smth and tell me what you think so far, if you want.


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